Why Is Loni Love Wrong About Black Men?

"I don't speak for the Black community but I do  think  that a lot of Black men, they really don't know to have true, faithful relationships," Love said. "They think because they have money, they have power, that they can treat women any kind of way." Actress, comedian, and talk show host Loni Love

"No it's not across the board because what is happening is that we are still dealing with the point of slavery," Love continued. "And we are descendants of slavery and because out families we were broken up."

Loni Love made these statements on a January 9, 2020 episode of the FOX daytime talk show "The Real." She has been subject of jokes and critique all over social media in particular Twitter. 

Here is the link to her statements https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzdjJuKbhzM

Toni's Thoughts: I meant to jump on this as soon as she made the statement. But I was curious to see the feedback from other Black Americans. Both men and women were offended. I was offended by her statements as well. Why is she wrong? She made a generalization about all Black men in front of a predominantly non Black audience. It was disturbing to see her new co-host Amanda Seales support the statements because she is known for her vitriol l of Black men. Loni Love has been vocal about her relationship she is dating a White man. As you can see in the image above. She has bragged about how happy she is and has encouraged Black women to date more non Black men. If Loni is happy and fulfilled with her current relationship why is she speaking about Black men? Here is my theory based on the tone in her voice and her body language when she made these statements. At some point in her life she has been hurt by a Black man or several Black men. I also noticed she was talking about Black men that have wealth. It is time to be brutally honest men with money want the woman that is considered to be "The Belle of the Ball." This woman is usually the model, beauty queen, etc. I am not knocking that either because women with wealth and money prefer to date and marry the handsome "Alpha Man" that compliments her. With that being said Loni has not been sought out by those men. In regards to her attempt to correlate Black men's infidelity to the trauma of slavery. White men and women used violence, intimidation, and laws to disrupt the cohesive Black family dynamic. Both Black men and women were raped and abused by plantation overseers, law enforcement, etc. I find it ironic she mentioned that but is still dating a White man. There is a 80-100% chance his family owned enslaved Africans here in America. So what does that say about Loni Love? I am not here to tell people who they can date and marry. But just look at the optics based on her statements. She is dating a White man but she is bashing Black men. She sounds like a bed wench.  She literally contradicted herself and sounded stupid. Also her man is not attractive at all I mean damn if you are going to step across the color line at least get a good looking guy. I mean let's take things a step further Loni Love is popular the mainstream society because she is a modern version of "The Mammy" archetype which is something most Black Americans despise. Loni Love is dealing with self-loathing and it is very obvious because she was lashing out towards Black men and the community by saying this. Especially in this public setting.

I admit that there was a point in my life when I was angry and bitter towards Black men and I contemplated interracial dating and did it briefly. However, this is when I was in high school and college. When I was in college a group of my classmates and peers held a forum about why they did not date Black women. I remember me and my friends feeling hurt and disrespected. They made generalizations about Black women based on stereotypes.  It did not help that I was going through ups and downs with dating at this time either. I remember going on a rant on my old Tumblr page about Black men. I have been critical of Black men that date outside their race on my old blog The Notes of Toni's Life and suggested that there is nothing wrong with Black women swirling. Even on this blog I was critical. By the time I was 23 which was five years ago I began to evolve. I realized that I needed to look in the mirror and think about the choices I was making. I realized that I could not make generalizations and assumptions about all Black men. Additionally, I came to the conclusion that I cannot have visceral response to Black men dating and marrying non Black women if Black women do that same thing. That would make me and other Black women hypocrites. I also believe that my evolution was supported by maturity, taking accountability, and research. So at the age of 28 my thoughts on relationships have changed since I was a teenager and a college student. I am not perfect but I am proud to say I grew out of that. Unfortunately for Loni Love who is 20 years older than me did not reflect and take accountability. What she said and did on her platform is dangerous. It could influence the minds of impressionable young Black girls and women. I will say this now. DO NOT LISTEN TO BLACK WOMEN LIKE LONI LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Most narratives about Black men are not created or enforced by them. It is always based on another person or group's assumptions. Loni Love is projecting her insecurities onto Black men and tried to use Black women as her amen corner. I also believe that she is not truly happy in her relationship. I am glad to see we are not falling for the bullshit. For the record over 80% percent of Black men marry and date Black women and have families. Will Smith is a improvement Black man with money and he is married to a Black woman and former President Barack Obama.Even though I have issues with Obama I just wanted to point that out. There are so many wonderful amazing Black men that love and lead their families.  I believe some Black people have been taunted and mistreated by some Black people during their childhood which could be peers or family members. Sometimes they hold onto that heartbreak for the rest of their lives and try to get revenge by destroying other Black people by any means. 

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